Joke: What to do in those timeframes where hormones are very active

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: What are you SO worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE . . . . .

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe.

Can mobile phones roast popcorn

This was a hot video going around on Youtube for quite some time now, that talked of mobile phones having enough power to cause popcorn placed between 3 phones to start popping. There has always been the fear that the radiation from mobile phones is dangerous and can cause problems to people; imagine the fear when a mobile phone is kept in a shirt pocket right next to the heart - the mobile phone could disrupt the electrical signals of the brain. so, if you watch the below video, you will get a clearer view of why mobile phones are seen as so dangerous:



This is now revealed to be a hoax (link)

The company that made these have now admitted it was a fake. It was by Cardio Systems that make bluetooth wireless devices. On their website they have a disclaimer saying it was fiction and a viral advertising campaign.

Such hoaxes are dangerous. We should fear things based on facts and science, not based on some kind of stunt meant to promote some business, or for any other such reason.

The 2 aliens and the petrol pump

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.'

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.' 'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and
deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocussed his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?' The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can wrap
his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear.

Bull charging and slipping

At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, "That new bull nearly did me in today, partner."

"Oh yeah, what happened?"

"I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!"

"So, how'd you get away?"

"Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over."

"Man, that's scary. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place."

"I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?"

Joke

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured, HOLY MOLY!! I'M OUTTA HERE!!!"