YOU KNOW IT'S A NO-FRILLS AIRLINE WHEN...

. They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.

. All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

. Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

. If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.

. You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

. Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

. The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

. When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

. The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

. You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he replies, "Just once."

. No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

. You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

Cheap Uncle Fred

Fred was well known for his cheapness and his 'eye for a bargain'. One day he was looking for a cheap wedding present for his niece, so he went into a thrift shop.

As he was walking around, he noticed what was previously an expensive glass crystal vase lying in the corner. It was in three pieces. After some haggling with the owner, Fred bought the broken vase for $5. He then filled in the congratulations card, wrote out his niece's name and address and gave the owner another $5 so that the broken vase could be gift wrapped and mailed. Fred then left the shop feeling quite pleased with himself. He expected his niece to think the vase had been broken in the mail.

A few days later, he called his niece to see if the present had arrived. "Yes, Uncle Fred, but unfortunately it was in 3 pieces when it was delivered."

"What terrible luck!" said Fred. "The Post Office is getting worse all the time!"

"It is a shame," she replied, "and it was so beautifully wrapped too... each piece separately."

Cheap Air Ticket Deals

From the website (link). Use this website to try and make your travel a bit cheaper.

Air bound travel has increased to the reason that it is the quickest traveling experience and air travel has made the world shrunk in terms of distances. It has become very easy to start from one corner of the world and go the other part of the world within 24 – 48 hours time. It has become a matter of hours only. It might be a bit costly to avail of this facility but within the reach of the consumer if one plans properly.

The best deals on air tickets can be got when the travel plan is made on certain days of the week for example if it is planned on a Tuesday, Thursday or Friday night till Sunday morning, as the traffic is less and the air lines are forced to fill the seats to get the maximum amount. This is the case for almost all the flights. And also traveling in the wee hours also might get a deal say it you take a late-night flight departure.

Cheapest gas - GasBuddy.com

GasBuddy.com can help you find cheap gas prices in your city. It is a network of more than 181+ gas price information websites that help you find low gasoline prices. All web sites are operated by GasBuddy and has the most comprehensive listings of gas prices anywhere.

Gasoline prices change frequently and may vary by as much as 20 percent within only a few blocks. It's important to be able find the service station with the lowest priced fuel. GasBuddy web sites allow motorists to share information about low priced fuel with others as well as target the lowest priced stations to save money when filling up at the pumps!

Search by US Zip Code or City, State at this site.