Jokes

1. A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator, "you were near the scene - what happened ?"

"Well, it's like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up."

"He was smoking in the mixing room ?" the investigator said in stunned horror, "How long had he been with the company?"

"About 20 years, sir"

"20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I'd have thought it would have been the last thing he'd have done."

"It was, sir."



2. Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. ............ ......... .
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NOW TWO MEN TALKING
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Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah