tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31361178443631620472012-01-03T03:20:05.198+05:30Cool Interesting StuffCool interesting stuff, puzzles, hacks, easter eggs, mind games, free and interesting software, jokes, health and beauty tips, recipes etc.Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.comBlogger33381100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-50748837231725209802011-11-25T00:41:00.001+05:302011-11-25T00:41:00.484+05:30Joke: Tips for becoming a better gun-fighterMorris, as a young man in the Old West, wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. So Morris walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up and down and said, "I have a suggestion that is sure to help."
"Tell me, tell me," said the young manAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-73745376015827595652011-10-20T19:14:00.000+05:302011-10-20T19:14:00.832+05:30Comebacks for the question: "Why aren't you married"11. Because I don't like having a 50% chance of some day losing everything that is important to me.
10. You haven't asked yet.
9. What? And spoil my great sex life?
8. Just lucky, I guess.
7. I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
6. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
5. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
4. What? And Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-13467317714799828402011-10-19T19:06:00.000+05:302011-10-19T19:06:00.598+05:30Extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and housing associations throughout the UK1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
3. .. and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
4. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other nightAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-92068126498268145692011-10-18T19:04:00.000+05:302011-10-18T19:04:00.566+05:30Humour: Do-It-Yourself Tips (don't actually try them at home)* Leak stain on ceiling.
Cut a piece of plywood into a square. Nail it over the stain. Put a handle on it. Tell everyone it's the door to your attic. (Not recommended for basement apartments).
* Ant invasion.
In a four-litre pail mix together two litres of water, 500 grams of abrasive cleanser and two tablespoons of dish detergent. Find the spot where the ants are getting into the house, pick Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-58916315121357643812011-10-17T18:52:00.000+05:302011-10-17T18:52:00.414+05:30Joke: enjoying a company outingPatrick was spotted driving along the highway at a steady speed, when he suddenly indicated right and pulled off onto the shoulder. He quickly jumped out of the car and opened the trunk. From a large bag, he produced a party hat, streamers, a bottle of lemonade, sandwiches and a
cake.
After eating the food and drinking the lemonade, he launched into a little Irish jig. The whole proceedings Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-63333313441174127192011-10-16T18:50:00.000+05:302011-10-16T18:50:00.709+05:30Humour: Extracts from allegedly genuine GCSE exam answers which are doing the rounds on the internet1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all
wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah desert and
travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such
that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the
first book of the Bible, Guinnesses, Adam and Eve were
created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain,
asked "Am I my Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-27974101641057783802011-10-15T18:48:00.000+05:302011-10-15T18:48:00.244+05:30Adult Joke: Price difference between real babies and toysTwo little girls, pushing their doll buggies in the park, meet for the first time. Examining the other's doll buggy and baby, each exclaimed, "Oh what a pretty baby and baby buggy you have. Where did you get your baby and what did it cost?"
"My Mommy got mine at a sale at a Super K Mart store for $32.95"
"Oh that's great! She's so pretty."
"Well thank you. And where did you get your baby? Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-59100105655845588312011-10-14T18:44:00.000+05:302011-10-14T18:44:00.101+05:30Humour: You Know You're Addicted to Gardening When...Your neighbors recognize you in your pajamas, rubber clogs and a cup of coffee.
You grab other people's banana peels, coffee grinds, apple cores, etc. for your compost pile.
You have to wash your hair to get your fingernails clean.
All your neighbors come and ask you questions.
You know the temperature of your compost every day.
You buy a bigger truck so that you can haul more mulch.
You Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-36234866308076763782011-10-13T18:43:00.002+05:302011-10-13T18:43:45.715+05:30Responses to "Do I look fat" question ?"Not to Stevie Wonder."
"Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."
"No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!"
"I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean fat with an 'f' or phat with a 'ph.'"
"No hablo ingles."
"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out."
"No, but taking it *off* sure does."
"Okay, listen: What's important is Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-8299753183162541812011-10-04T19:48:00.002+05:302011-10-04T19:48:54.207+05:30Joke: Jesus and 3 people with problemsAn Australian, and Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar.
They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out: "My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!"
The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-52322957862292585182011-06-14T20:59:00.000+05:302011-06-14T20:59:00.753+05:30Recipe: Smothered Chicken w/MushroomsThis recipe serves 4 people.
3 lb. frying chicken, in serving pieces
Salt & freshly ground pepper
¼ C olive or vegetable oil
1-1/2 C chopped onions
¼ C flour
2 C chicken broth
1 lb mushrooms, sliced
¼ C chopped parsley
Preheat the oven to 400°F.
Wash the chicken pieces and pat dry.
Season to taste with salt and pepper.
In a large heavy-bottomed skillet, heat the oil over high heat and Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-89135980231894266362011-06-13T20:57:00.000+05:302011-06-13T20:57:01.404+05:30Recipe: Poached ChickenThis recipe serves 4 people.
Chicken prepared this way stays juicy and moist for salads and sandwiches.
The broth may be saved and used for stock, for boiling noodles or rice, or for poaching another chicken.
3-lb. chicken, whole
Salt
Wash the chicken with cold water.
Truss and place in a large saucepan.
Add water halfway up to the chicken, with ½ teaspoon salt for every quart of Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-87034722855186683272011-06-12T20:55:00.000+05:302011-06-12T20:55:00.413+05:30Recipe: Rhode Island ChickenThis recipe will serve 4 people.
3-lb chicken, whole
1 stalk celery with leaves, in 4 pieces
½ onion, sliced
1 t thyme, crumbed
½ t freshly ground pepper
3 parsley sprigs
1 bay leaf
1 carrot, sliced
3 T butter
3 T flour
2 egg yolks, lightly beaten
2 T lemon juice
Salt
Wash and truss the chicken.
Place it in a large saucepan and add water halfway up the chicken.
Add the celery, onion, Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-90219133335933658302011-06-11T20:52:00.000+05:302011-06-11T20:52:00.811+05:30Recipe: Chicken w/DumplingsThis recipe serves 6 people.
4-5 lb. chicken, in 8 pieces
2 carrots, sliced thin
2 stalks celery with leaves, sliced thin
1 large onion, chopped
1-1/2 t thyme, crumbled
½ t rosemary, crumbled
2 t salt
½ t freshly ground pepper
Feather Dumplings
1 C flour
½ C fresh bread crumbs
2 t baking powder
¾ t salt
1 egg, well beaten
2 T butter, melted
¼ C finely chopped onion
1/3 C milk
1 T finely Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-84043454101219702692011-06-10T20:50:00.000+05:302011-06-10T20:50:00.499+05:30Recipe: Corned Beef Pokies1 12-oz. can corned beef
2 T prepared mustard
1 T Worcestershire sauce
1 to 2 t prepared horseradish
½ C diced American cheese
6 hot dog rolls
Separate corned beef into small pieces.
Combine with mustard, Worcestershire sauce, horseradish and cheese.
Mix well; fill rolls with mixture.
Wrap each roll individually in aluminum foil.
Bake at 350°F for 20 minutes or until cheese melts.Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-64082962951298319982011-06-09T20:43:00.000+05:302011-06-09T20:43:00.464+05:30Recipe - Grilled Corned Beef & Cheese Sandwiches1 12-oz. can corned beef, shredded
4 oz. sharp American cheese, diced
½ C mayonnaise
2 T sweet pickle relish
1 T instant minced onion
8 hamburger buns, split and buttered
Mix corned beef, cheese, mayonnaise, relish and onion; spoon into buns.
Wrap in heavy foil.
Heat over medium coals for 12 to 15 minutes, turning several times.Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-46817190744407075762011-06-08T20:41:00.000+05:302011-06-08T20:41:00.788+05:30Humour: Actual excerpts from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reportsActual excerpts from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports.
* His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
* I would not breed from this officer.
* He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
* He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
* This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
* This medical officer has used my ship Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-24148160900807433992011-06-07T20:40:00.000+05:302011-06-07T20:40:01.008+05:30Humour - Extracts from US and UK Military Officer Evaluations.Extracts from US and UK Military Officer Evaluations.
One can almost see the civilian equivalents of the individuals concerned in the mind's eye:
Actual lines out of U.S. Military OERs (Officer Efficiency Report):
* Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
* Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
* A room temperature IQ..
* Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-53733737632695325412011-06-06T20:37:00.000+05:302011-06-06T20:37:00.823+05:30Recipe: Brunswick StewThis recipe will serve 6 people
A southern stew, originally made with squirrel or rabbit, that is traditionally long-cooked so that the vegetables become soft and the potatoes are cooked to a thickening paste.
4-5 lb. chicken, in quarters
Salt
1 C chopped canned or fresh tomatoes
2 onions, sliced thin
1 C green lima beans
3 potatoes, peeled & diced
1 C whole-kernel corn
1 t sugar
1/8 to ¼ t Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-38773689349788801522011-06-05T20:37:00.000+05:302011-06-05T20:37:20.835+05:30Recipe: Chicken ParmesanWill serve 4 people.
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 C freshly made bread crumbs
½ C freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1-1/2 lbs. skinned & boned chicken breasts
1/3 C flour
Salt
Freshly ground pepper
2 T lemon juice
¼ t nutmeg
1-1/2 C chopped cooked spinach, or 1 pkg. frozen chopped spinach, cooked
4 T butter
2 T oil
1 C heavy cream
Mix the egg with 2 tablespoons water in a shallow bowl.
Combine the Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-48482810192607922082011-06-02T20:04:00.000+05:302011-06-02T20:04:00.151+05:30Recipe: Nippy Beef SandwichesMakes 6 servings
½ C finely shredded dried beef
1 3-oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
1 T horseradish
1 T minced onion
1 T salad dressing
Soft butter
12 whole wheat bread slices
Combine beef, cream cheese, horseradish, onion, and salad dressing.
Butter bread slices to edge.
Divide beef mixture into 6 parts.
Place 1 part on each of 6 bread slices, spreading to edges.
Top with remaining Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-56935342013093777902011-06-01T20:01:00.000+05:302011-06-01T20:01:00.779+05:30Recipe: Italian Steak SandwichesServes: 4
Butter
1 Bermuda onion, sliced
1 8-oz. can tomato sauce
1/8 t salt
1/8 t instant minced onion
½ t oregano
Dash of pepper
Dash of garlic salt
½ t Worcestershire sauce
1-1/4 lb sandwich steaks
4 Italian rolls
Olive oil
2 medium dill pickles, sliced
Melt 2 tablespoons butter in skillet.
Brown onion slices in butter slowly until tender.
Combine tomato sauce, salt, minced onion, Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-14910597135787880612011-05-31T20:00:00.000+05:302011-05-31T20:00:41.994+05:30Recipe: Cantonese Short Ribs1 can sliced pineapple
3 lbs. short ribs
3 T shortening
1/3 C soy sauce
Brown sugar
1 t ginger
Melted butter
Drain pineapple, reserving juice.
Add enough water to reserved juice to make 2 cups liquid.
Brown ribs in shortening in roasting pan.
Mix reserved pineapple liquid, soy sauce, 1 tablespoon brown sugar and ginger.
Pour over ribs.
Simmer for 3 hours or until tender.
Brush Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-83233040874126628342011-05-15T22:51:00.000+05:302011-05-15T22:51:27.425+05:30Recipe: Mushroom-Stuffed Chicken BreastsRecipe.
Serves 4 to 6
5 T butter
½ lb mushrooms, chopped fine
½ t salt
¼ t freshly ground pepper
1-1/2 C freshly made bread crumbs
¼ t nutmeg (optional)
4 chicken breasts, boned, halved, and pounded flat
½ C heavy cream
½ C chicken broth
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Melt 4 tablespoons of the butter in a skillet.
Add the mushrooms, salt, and pepper, and cook, stirring often, until the Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-33863317817466881012011-05-12T23:11:00.000+05:302011-05-14T02:07:10.092+05:30Recipe - Imperial TenderloinThis recipe generates 8 servings.
1 beef tenderloin
¼ C olive oil
1 clove of garlic
1 T Worcestershire sauce
4 oz. blue cheese
Butter
1 lb mushroom caps
1 t onion salt
½ t caraway seed
Pepper to taste
Trim surface fat from beef. Brush with olive oil.
Bake at 450°F for 45 to 60 minutes or until meat thermometer registers 140°F. Remove from oven. Mash garlic into Worcestershire sauce; combine Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-4834809920951801722011-03-29T20:08:00.000+05:302011-03-29T20:08:00.476+05:30The Difference between Complete & Finished.The Difference between Complete & Finished.
People say there is no difference between the English words "COMPLETE" & "FINISH".
...But there is.
When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE....
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.....
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one,
you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!!Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-3922692472277763552011-03-28T16:10:00.000+05:302011-03-28T16:10:37.147+05:30Recipe - Barbecued BeefBarbecued Beef
1 3-lb beef roast
2 t pickling spice
1 large bottle catsup
2 green peppers, minced
1 large onion, minced
2 t sugar
2 t vinegar
1 t dry mustard
1 t salt
Place roast in shallow pan; seal with foil. Bake at 300°F for 2 hours. Pierce foil to let steam escape. Reserve pan juices. Chill roast. Tie pickling spice in small bag; combine with catsup, peppers, onion, 1/3 cup water, sugar,Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-77461949834573442592011-03-10T20:05:00.000+05:302011-03-10T20:05:00.696+05:30Totally politically incorrect office speakThe Corporate Lingo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
SOME Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-58588906608332401072011-03-09T20:00:00.000+05:302011-03-09T20:00:01.249+05:30Some signs found in kitchens - humorousSigns Found In Kitchens
1. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious.
2. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
3. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he
just cleaned the whole house.
4. If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
5. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
6. Thou shalt not weigh more than Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-68442346249785375872011-03-08T19:08:00.000+05:302011-03-08T19:08:00.650+05:30Kitchen Humour - Be careful about your foods getting expiredICE CREAM - If you can't tell the difference between your ice cubes and your
ice cream, it's time to throw BOTH out.
FROZEN FOODS - Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
EGGS - When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, theAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-2791844996184307422011-03-07T18:57:00.001+05:302011-03-07T18:57:16.940+05:30Just for today, some good items to do ..JUST FOR TODAY,
.. ..smile at a stranger
....listen to someone's heart
....drop a coin where a child can find it
....learn something new, then teach it to someone
....tell someone you're thinking of them
....hug a loved one
....don't hold a grudge
....don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry"
....look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are
....don't kill that spider in your house, he's Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-29774088189555701922011-01-31T20:37:00.000+05:302011-01-31T20:37:00.993+05:30Humour: Your Cat's New Year's ResolutionsMy human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.
I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.
I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-83586532201224733882011-01-30T20:35:00.000+05:302011-01-30T20:35:00.427+05:30Humour: A cow and mad cow diseaseSure fire signs that your cow has mad-cow disease:
Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.
She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on the first date."
Your cow takes up painting and wants to wear an earring.
Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.
Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow's body.
Your cow demands to be Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-49170419176797873792011-01-29T22:33:00.000+05:302011-01-29T22:33:00.231+05:30Humour: Men and houseworkDo men just play dumb when it comes to cleaning?
Is this an obvious attempt to avoid any sort of housework?
I used to think so, but now I think it may have something to do with
a testosterone brain block or something.
Broom (brum) - a long handled brush used for sweeping (also doubles
as a mode of transportation for your mother)
Vacuum (vak' u em) - much like the leaf blower except it sucks Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-25211804662548396272011-01-28T22:31:00.000+05:302011-01-28T22:31:01.221+05:30Joke: What did the Holy Mother actually want ?After a long life of unselfish service, Father John O'Malley died and went to heaven. Saint Peter met him at the Pearly Gates and said, "John, you did such a wonderful job for us on Earth, we'd like to do something special for you. You name it, it's yours."
John thought for a moment and said, "I'd like a private audience with the Holy Mother."
Saint Peter told him that it would be arranged.
OnAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-64997864783323220872011-01-27T20:29:00.000+05:302011-01-27T20:29:00.533+05:30Some quick jokesA man went to his lawyer and said, "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it."
The lawyer said, "No problem, leave it all to me."
The man looked somewhat upset and said, "Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I would like to leave a little to my children too!"
______________________________
Our minister announced that admission to a church Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-32030026247527195092011-01-26T22:27:00.001+05:302011-01-26T22:27:00.334+05:30Joke: What happens when mom has the fluNotes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her well-meaning husband.
Monday A.M.
Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: fruit cup, finger sandwiches. Thermos of hot tea by bedside. See you around six.
Tuesday A.M.
Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator. Hope Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-36720329582660032272011-01-25T22:25:00.001+05:302011-01-25T22:25:00.736+05:30Joke: The farmer and his wagesA man owned a small farm in South Georgia . The Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him.
"You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them."
"All right," said the farmer. "I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She's been here Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-58553505861172031012011-01-24T20:18:00.000+05:302011-01-24T20:18:00.767+05:30Joke: The sharp policeman against the lawyerIf you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility....
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-12845926211337157182011-01-23T22:12:00.000+05:302011-01-23T22:12:00.174+05:30Adult Joke - The old lady shot someoneDefence Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
DA: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
LOL: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front veranda, on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up and sat down beside me.
DA: Did you know him?
LOL: No, but he sure was friendly.
DA: What happened Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-2963477641639869032011-01-22T22:10:00.000+05:302011-01-22T22:10:00.713+05:30Recipe: Hot-and-Sour SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: about 40 minutes
As taught to me many years ago by my good friend Peter Cheng, who made this daily for thirty years. All of the dried ingredients can be found in any Asian market and many supermarkets.
1 whole chicken breast, bone-in, about 1 lb, skin & excess fat removed
6 C chicken stock or water
5 dried lily buds, available at Asian markets
3 or 4 dried cloud ear or Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-19145330068967269192011-01-21T18:51:00.000+05:302011-01-21T18:51:00.796+05:30Joke: A young man in a barA man is waiting for his wife to give birth.
The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without
a torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son anyway and raises him as well as he can,
with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink.
Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells his son he is proud of him.
Dad Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-90846512087407797072011-01-20T18:49:00.000+05:302011-01-20T18:49:00.226+05:30Adult Joke - Stranger in the homeIt was a stormy Christmas night, and inside the tiny cottage on the
Yorkshire moors, an elderly couple sat around a roaring fire.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. The old man answered it, and
found a very bedraggled man, exhausted and shivering.
"Thank God you're in," said the stranger. "I've been walking for
hours. I'm lost, and the snow is so deep. Can I rest here for a while?"
"Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-88231538209658460852011-01-19T18:47:00.000+05:302011-01-19T18:47:00.411+05:30Christmas humour: When you don't get a gift you likeTop 10 things to say about a Christmas gift you don't like:
10) Hey! There's a gift.
9.) Well, well, well...
8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.
7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.
6.) Wow, I hope this never catches fire!
5.) If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-51022764251420396052011-01-18T18:46:00.000+05:302011-01-18T18:46:00.386+05:30Medical HumourOld Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to
the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain.
The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he'd gone in and
asked Mr. Tuttle, "Do you have a hammer?"
A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer.
The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom.
A moment later, he came out and asked,Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-80984511063100258042011-01-17T18:43:00.001+05:302011-01-17T18:43:00.442+05:30Humour: Some new year wishes from a lawyerlease accept with no obligation implied, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion or secular traditions ofAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-2556836229802538092011-01-16T18:42:00.001+05:302011-01-16T18:42:01.048+05:30Humour: Some new year wishes for the new generationMay your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs, and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.
May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your
gastroenterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber, and the Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-16813730342673841502011-01-15T18:38:00.000+05:302011-01-15T18:38:00.945+05:30Humour: Some stuff about ChristmasYou Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When...
1. You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
6. You strike a match and light your nose.
7. You take off your shoes and Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-6639067187069765712011-01-14T18:40:00.000+05:302011-01-14T18:40:00.296+05:30Humour: Some Christmas office stuffTo: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbiddenAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-62696080368945343062011-01-13T18:37:00.000+05:302011-01-13T18:37:00.375+05:30Joke: Dispute between Christian and non-ChristianThere was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for
her business so she did a lot of flying.
But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with
her to read and it helped relax her.
One time she was sitting next to a man.
When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle and went
back to what he was doing.
After awhile he turned to her and asked "Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-43199937482750590362011-01-12T18:33:00.000+05:302011-01-12T18:33:00.660+05:30Some quick jokes"Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle of the night feeding?"
"No. I always did that."
"That must have been before you had women's liberation."
"No, it was before we had baby bottles."
______________________________
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:
"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-21136082603088187452011-01-11T18:35:00.000+05:302011-01-11T18:35:00.228+05:30Some jokes about the kitchenA messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Blessed are they who Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-79894894896012061022011-01-10T18:31:00.000+05:302011-01-10T18:31:00.887+05:30Joke; Adam and his ribAdam was walking around the garden of Eden , moping. God asked him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam replied that he was lonely and didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-60885522798689428942011-01-09T18:29:00.000+05:302011-01-09T18:29:00.589+05:30Joke - The young boy and ChristIt was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco . The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get Him, my Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-29955885186152329372011-01-08T18:26:00.001+05:302011-01-08T18:26:00.297+05:30Corporate joke - how advertising can go wrongA disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-18826518836554503292011-01-08T18:25:00.000+05:302011-01-08T18:25:00.849+05:30Corporate joke - The definition of people in a companyCHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
ls more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Talks with God
PRESIDENT
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God if special request is approved
EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT
Leaps short Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-255109336481889672011-01-07T18:24:00.000+05:302011-01-07T18:24:00.288+05:30Adult Joke - The prisoner and the life sentenceThe bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-51179715740270682652011-01-06T18:22:00.002+05:302011-01-06T18:22:00.549+05:30Adult Joke - 2 girls outTwo women friends had gone for a *Girls Night Out*, but had been
over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking
home they needed to pee.
They were very near a graveyard and one of them
suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her
knickers and use them, then throw them away. Her Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-45312076692188443052011-01-05T17:11:00.000+05:302011-01-05T17:11:00.450+05:30Humour: Common points between teenagers and catsFor all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a
teenager, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common
with cats:
Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane
efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting
on them hand and foot.
You rarely see aAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-69394248219782662042011-01-04T17:07:00.002+05:302011-01-04T17:07:00.071+05:30Recipe: Cotriade (French traditional stew)Makes 4 servings
Time: 1 hour
A traditional stew of northern France.
½ C minced bacon
1 large onions, roughly chopped
About 1 lb baking potatoes, peeled & cut into small chunks
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 t fresh thyme leaves or ½ t dried thyme
6 C fish or chicken stock, preferably warmed
About 2 lbs fillets or steaks of white fish, cut into chunks
Juice of 1 lemon
Minced Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-68590651447813095242011-01-03T17:05:00.007+05:302011-01-03T17:05:00.470+05:30Recipe: Twice-Cooked Chicken StockMakes about 3 quarts
Time: about 1 hour
This makes a delicious stock, and gives you perfectly cooked chicken to add to any of the following chicken soups.
3 quarts any chicken stock
1 small chicken or 2 or 3 lbs chicken parts, skin and all visible fat removed, rinsed and patted dry with paper towels
1 carrot, peeled and cut into chunks
1 clove garlic, peeled (optional)
Several sprigs fresh Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-78827653950954710482011-01-02T17:02:00.000+05:302011-01-02T17:02:00.571+05:30Recipe: Egg-Lemon SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: about 30 minutes
A Greek standard with plenty of rice and chicken---more of a stew than a soup.
6 C chicken stock
½ C long-grain rice or orzo
1 carrot, peeled & cut into thin slices
1 celery stalk, minced
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 C shredded or chopped cooked boneless skinless chicken
2 eggs
3 T freshly squeezed lemon juice, plus more if desired
Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-31805556120668800342011-01-01T16:20:00.000+05:302011-01-01T16:20:00.685+05:30Recipe: Chicken Soup with Rice or NoodlesMakes 4 servings
Time: 30 minutes
This is a thin chicken soup with the rice, meat, and vegetables acting as a garnish rather than a major player; see the variation if you want something more substantial. Use orzo or other tiny pasta, angel hair or other thin noodles, ribbons or other egg noodles, or other cooked grains in place of the rice.
5 to 6 C chicken stock
½ C long-grain rice or pastaAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-42302538712819245952010-12-31T16:20:00.000+05:302010-12-31T16:20:32.367+05:30Recipe: Chicken Soup with Butter DumplingsMakes 4 servings
Time: 20 minutes
Serve in any chicken soup.
6 C chicken stock
4 T (1/2 stick) butter, softened
2 eggs
½ C flour
¼ C minced fresh parsley leaves
¼ C minced or grated onion
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
Heat the stock in a large pot. Cream the butter in a bowl with the black of a fork, then beat in the eggs. Stir in the flour, parsley, onion, salt, and pepper,Sunflowerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08217123775759126489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-30591261029352450842010-12-16T12:29:00.000+05:302010-12-16T12:29:00.738+05:30Adult Joke: Making love to a girl in the back seat of a carA guy on a date parks and gets the girl in the back seat and they make love.
The girl wants it again and the guy obliges her. She wants more and
they do it again. She still wants more and the guy, by now exhausted, says:
"Excuse me a minute I have to relive myself."
While out of the car he notices a guy a half block away changing a
flat. He goes up to the guy and says;
"Look, I've got this Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-2397184759609770042010-12-15T11:09:00.000+05:302010-12-15T11:09:00.425+05:30Humour: Things you should probably not say at a wake* So, what are you gonna do with his golf clubs?
* Who do I talk to about his bar tab?
* Of course you'll miss him, he didn't molest you.
* How long you think until he starts to stink?
* Wow! Other than his wife, is there anyone in this room he didn't bang?
* Say what you will, Madame Toussot does nice work.
* It's weird not seeing him drunk.
* I always thought he was gay.
* Isn't that Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-61318196335265492562010-12-14T11:08:00.001+05:302010-12-14T11:08:46.506+05:30Joke; A teacher in heavenA teacher dies and goes to Heaven. When she gets there she meets Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
Peter says to her, "Welcome to Heaven. Let me give you an orientation first." So Peter takes her to some beautiful houses.
The teacher asks, "Who lives here in these beautiful houses?"
"These are for doctors. They did a lot of good on Earth so they get a nice mansion," replies Peter.
Peter takes Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-36856758876200925822010-12-08T23:07:00.000+05:302010-12-08T23:07:00.072+05:30Recipe: Cabbage SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: about 45 minutes
This North European staple can always be improved by using Savoy cabbage in place of tight green head cabbage. For a thicker, more substantial soup, see the second variation.
1 small head green, Savoy, or Napa cabbage, about 1-1/2 lbs
4 T (1/2 stick) butter or 3 T extra-virgin oil
1 large onion, sliced
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 T Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-41783240094419826282010-12-07T23:05:00.000+05:302010-12-07T23:05:00.655+05:30Recipe: Onion SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: about 1 hour
This onion soup has a thin coating of good cheese rather than the more common gobs of mozzarella or Cheddar. It's light but incredibly deep in flavor.
4 T (1/2 stick) butter
4 large onions, thinly sliced (about 6 cups)
5 C beef or chicken stock, preferably warmed
2 or 3 sprigs fresh thyme or pinch dried thyme
2 or 3 sprigs fresh parsley
Salt & freshly Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-47306794644957698872010-12-06T23:04:00.000+05:302010-12-06T23:04:48.701+05:30Recipe: Simplest Split Pea SoupMakes 4 to 6 servings
Time: about 1-1/2 hours
To make pea soup, you need split peas, water (or stock, or course), and croutons.
2 C green split peas, washed & picked over
6 C chicken, beef, or vegetable stock, or water
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
Croutons
Combine the peas and the stock or water in a large, deep saucepan or casserole and bring to a boil over medium-high Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-59500845384961915292010-12-03T09:21:00.000+05:302010-12-03T09:21:15.732+05:30Alternatives to fruits (in recipes)Many times, we come across recipes which require fruits and they may not be available in exactly the form as needed in the recipe. Here are some alternatives:
1 teaspoon grated orange rind = 1/2 orange
3 tablespoons lemon juice = 1 lemon
1-1/2 teaspoons grated lemon rind = 1 lemon
1 cup mashed banana= 3 medium bananas
6 tablespoons orange juice = 1 orange
1 cup chopped apple = 1 Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-67409360798183896382010-11-02T13:12:00.001+05:302010-11-02T13:12:00.201+05:30Humour - Jokes from the bar - Part 4A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a voice say, "Nice tie." Looking around, he saw that the bar was empty except for him and the bartender. A few sips later, another voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man calls the bartender over. "Say, must be losing my mind," he tells him."I keep hearing these voices say nice things, and there is not Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-56834413887912274902010-11-01T13:08:00.001+05:302010-11-01T13:08:00.410+05:30Humour - Jokes from the bar - Part 3A fellow walks into a pub near Buckingham Palace in London, sits down, and says, "Give me a beer. I've had a rough day at work." And the bartender says, "Oh? What do you do?" The guy says, "I take care of the corgis--you know, the dogs the royal family owns." The bartender asks, "Tough job, huh? The guy says, "Yeah. All that inbreeding has led to low intelligence and bad
temperaments. And the Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-11497248164085716582010-10-31T13:06:00.000+05:302010-10-31T13:06:00.304+05:30Humour: Jokes from the bar - Part 2A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"
A goldfish flops into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-61380675610369719912010-10-30T13:03:00.001+05:302010-10-30T13:03:00.241+05:30Humour: Jokes from the bar - Part 1A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, Bartender, two beers please. One for me, and one for the road."
An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do I come here often?"
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel fastened to his fly. The bartender points and says, "Hey! You have a steering wheel stuck on your fly!" And the pirate says: "Arrrgh. And Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-22097753070091024292010-10-29T12:59:00.001+05:302010-10-29T12:59:00.653+05:30Humour: What is the difference between men and women?1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
*******
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
*******
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
*******
4. A woman marries a man expecting he willAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-64788614300015435152010-10-28T12:54:00.001+05:302010-10-28T12:54:01.098+05:30Recipe: White Bean SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: at least 1-1/2 hours
1-1/2 C navy, pea, or other dried white beans, washed & picked over
About 6 C chicken, beef, or vegetable stock, or water, plus more if necessary
1 medium onion, quartered
2 T butter or extra-virgin olive oil (optional)
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
Minced fresh parsley leaves for garnish
Place the beans, stock or water, and onion inAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-87626843692687659462010-10-27T12:50:00.002+05:302010-10-27T12:50:00.716+05:30Recipe: Mushroom SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: 30 minutes
2 oz or more dried porcini mushrooms (optional; use if you have only button mushrooms for fresh)
2 T butter or extra-virgin olive oil
1 lb fresh mushrooms, preferably a combination, cleaned, trimmed, & sliced, the stems reserved for another use, a few slices reserved for garnish
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 T minced shallots
1 t minced garlic
Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-43989097948925987092010-10-26T12:47:00.001+05:302010-10-26T12:47:00.203+05:30Recipe: White Bean Soup w/VegetablesMakes 4 servings
Time: at least 1-1/2 hours
Less pure than the proceeding, but more flavorful. Vary the vegetables as you wish.
1 C navy, pea, or other dried white beans, washed & picked over
6 C chicken, beef, or vegetable stock, or water, plus more if necessary
2 carrots, peeled & roughly chopped
1 medium turnip or parsnip, peeled & roughly chopped
1 potato, peeled & roughly chopped
1 Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-73244387900972119542010-10-25T12:42:00.001+05:302010-10-25T12:42:00.736+05:30Recipe: Cream of Broccoli (or Any Vegetable) SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: 30 minutes
There are thousands of recipes for true cream of vegetable soups, but the differences among them are subtle at best. Basically, you cook the vegetable you want with good flavorings until it's done. Then you puree it and reheat it with cream. (The addition of rice or potatoes makes the soup smooth and creamy without outrageous amounts of cream. One-quarter cup Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-56389338180100080902010-10-24T12:39:00.000+05:302010-10-24T12:39:00.500+05:30Humour: KIDS' KITCHEN TERMSBOIL:
The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck" before a food is even tasted.
CASSEROLE:
Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed together.
DESSERT:
The reason for eating a meal.
EVAPORATE:
Magic trick performed by children when it comes time to clear the table or wash dishes.
FRUIT:
A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert
REFRIGERATOR:
Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-70887844324787881852010-10-23T12:37:00.001+05:302010-10-23T12:37:00.315+05:30Humour: Job Search jargonWhether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long-time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
FLEXIBLE HOURS:
Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you listen and figure out what they Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-37586945688986274262010-10-22T12:21:00.016+05:302010-10-22T12:21:00.854+05:30Humour: Cost cutting measures in a hospitalTo: All Staff
From: Administration
Re: Hospital Costs
In an effort to reduce costs this year, the following are effective immediately. Please share this information with your patients and physicians as soon as possible.
1. Food service will be discontinued immediately. Patients wishing to eat will want to get their families to bring them a brown bag meal, or you may make your own arrangements Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-69203101887621674112010-10-21T12:21:00.000+05:302010-10-21T12:21:34.843+05:30Humour: The last thing that a person didA terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all
the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins. One of the few
survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says
the investigator, "you were near the scene - what happened ?"
"Well, it's like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room,
and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up."
"He was Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-11670898347435940332010-10-16T22:27:00.000+05:302010-10-16T22:27:00.604+05:30Recipe: Spinach & Egg SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: 20 minutes
Use watercress instead of spinach, peanut oil instead of butter, and a couple of tablespoons of soy sauce instead of nutmeg and Parmesan, and you've got egg drop soup. Who said Italy and China were far apart?
1 lb spinach, well washed & picked over
2 T butter
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
5 C chicken, beef, or Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-3575928634630762232010-10-15T22:24:00.000+05:302010-10-15T22:24:00.366+05:30Recipe: Minestrone SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: 45 minutes to 1 hour
Essentially, vegetable soup, best made with a little bit of prosciutto. Consider this recipe a series of suggestions, rather than something ironclad; you can make minestrone with any vegetables you have on hand.
4 T extra-virgin olive oil
1 medium onion, minced
1 carrot, peeled & diced
½ C minced prosciutto or other ham (optional)
4 C assorted Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-88580450485868241072010-10-14T22:20:00.000+05:302010-10-14T22:20:00.530+05:30WHY MEN HAVE BETTER FRIENDSWomen's Friends: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The husband called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew what she was talking about.
Men's Friends: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-72122069355178049752010-10-13T22:13:00.000+05:302010-10-13T22:13:00.905+05:302 quick jokes - military relatedThe army medicel officer was testing a base's water supply: "What precautions do you take against infection"? he asked the sargent in charge.
"We first boil the water,Sir," said the sargent.
"Good then"?
"We filter it."
"Excellent,then?"
"Then to be safe,we drink beer."
----------------------------------------------------------
Conversation between two eagles flying high in the sky when theyAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-71028955496715946172010-10-12T22:09:00.001+05:302010-10-12T22:09:00.491+05:30Humour: Therapy for a depressed manA man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've
got to help me. I can't go on like this. "
"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter
how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your
self-esteem. Each morning, I want Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-72974370082169475942010-10-11T22:06:00.000+05:302010-10-11T22:06:00.258+05:30Humour: Dispute between a big city lawyer and othersA big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old
rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which
the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by
the train, and wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the
back room of the general store.
Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-72236517749789730402010-10-10T22:03:00.000+05:302010-10-10T22:03:00.082+05:30Humour: A couple before a counselor for divorce proceedingsA couple whose marriage was going on the rocks sought the advice of a marriage counsellor. The counsellor pleaded with them to patch up their quarrel, but they were adamant. "So," said the counsellor, "you know the consequences and you want to part. Remember this. You must divide your property equally."
The wife flared up. "You mean the $4,000 I have saved up? I must give him half? My money?"
"Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-41455749407140057392010-10-09T21:54:00.000+05:302010-10-09T21:54:00.774+05:30Humour: Love based on reactions from childrenSince a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In a survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their views on love. But what do little kids know about love? Read on and be surprised that despite their young and innocent minds, kids already have a simple but deep grasp of Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-30654924772559350542010-10-08T21:51:00.000+05:302010-10-08T21:51:00.226+05:30Humour: A conversation between a catholic priest and a rabbiA Catholic priest and a Rabbi are talking about job prospects.
"Well," says the priest, "there's a good chance that I'll be the next bishop... maybe within the next couple of years."
"Bishop!" marvels the Rabbi, "very nice. And after that?"
"Oh, I don't know, I suppose it's possible I could become Archbishop... given luck and God's blessing."
"Very nice, very nice; and after Archbishop?"
"HaAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-80566337043035835582010-10-07T21:48:00.000+05:302010-10-07T21:48:00.110+05:30Humour: How do you know you are part of a family ..If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook people taking things out on you when, if through
no fault of yours, Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-71969309188773422012010-10-06T21:44:00.000+05:302010-10-06T21:44:00.172+05:30Hospital humour: Hospital Chart Bloopers1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-16828626093189919152010-10-05T21:43:00.001+05:302010-10-05T21:43:37.949+05:30Software humour: A guide to software revisions1.0:
Also known as "one point uh-oh", or "barely out of beta". We had to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror.
1.1:
We fixed all the killer bugs ...
1.2:
Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we had to fix them, too.
2.0:
We did the product we really wanted to do to begin with. Mind you, Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-48589503460642671492010-09-29T17:29:00.000+05:302010-09-29T17:29:00.944+05:30Recipe: Simplest Split Pea SoupMakes 4 to 6 servings
Time: about 1-1/2 hours
To make pea soup, you need split peas, water (or stock, or course), and croutons. Everything else is a luxury. Some of those luxuries are detailed in the variations, but you can combine them as you like.
2 C green split peas, washed & picked over
6 C chicken, beef, or vegetable stock, or water
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
CroutonsAshishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-4150261183996284432010-09-28T17:27:00.000+05:302010-09-28T17:27:01.139+05:30Recipe - Lentil SoupMakes 4 servings
Time: about 45 minutes
You can also make a wonderful lentil soup by adding more stock or water to Warm Lentils w/Bacon.
1 C lentils, washed & picked over
1 bay leaf
Several sprigs fresh thyme or few pinches dried thyme
1 carrot, peeled & cut into ½-inch or smaller cubes
1 celery stalk, cut into ½-inch or smaller cubes
About 6 C water or chicken, beef, or vegetable stock, Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-34187296314088587802010-09-27T17:25:00.000+05:302010-09-27T17:25:00.997+05:30Recipe - White Bean Soup w/HamMakes 8 or more servings
Time: at least 1-1/2 hours
Add a ham bone to White Bean soup and proceed directly to heaven.
1 ham bone or 2 or 3 smoked ham hocks
3 C navy, pea, or other dried white beans, washed & picked over
12 C chicken, beef, or vegetable stock, or water
2 medium onions, quartered
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
Minced fresh parsley leaves for garnish
Place the Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136117844363162047.post-74957079492588815322010-09-26T17:02:00.001+05:302010-09-26T17:02:00.501+05:30Humour: 10 Rules For Dating My DaughterRule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're not picking anything up here.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below the neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered Ashishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375418045330076026noreply@blogger.com0