15 minutes later, to everyone's surprise, she comes briskly out of his room walking almost upright. She is holding her head high and has a smile on her face. A woman in the waiting room says to Betty, "It's unbelievable, a miracle even. You walk in bent in half and now you walk out erect. What a fantastic doctor he is. Tell me, what did Doctor Simon do to you?"
"Miracle, shmiracle," says Hetty, "he just gave me a longer walking stick."
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!