One night the phone rang, and his wife answered.
An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"
"Well, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?" the wife asked.
"Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."
A patient limped into his doctor's office.
The doctor handed him a large pill.
Just then, the nurse called the doctor out of the room to ask him a question.
While the doctor was gone, the patient hobbled over to the sink, ran some water in a paper cup and swallowed the pill.
Just then the doctor returned with a bucket and said, "Now, drop the pill into the bucket and we'll soak your foot."