Here is David Letterman's top ten MacDonald's excuses for the condom in the Big Mac:
10. We were test marketing the new "McRibbed."
9. Condom, Condiment...
8. It still tastes better than the Arch Deluxe.
7. It was either there, or in the vanilla shake.
6. Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true.
5. We're experimenting with a new, even happier meal.
4. Employees too embarrassed to ask "Would you like a condom with that?"
3. So what? A regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway.
2. Drive-thru speaker broken: "Coke with lots of ice" sounds like "Prophylactic device."
And the number one MacDonald's Excuse for the Condom in the Big Mac:
1. When you're serving billions and billions, you can't be too careful.